Sometimes... I want to cry, and scream.

There's... so many things going on right now.

Anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness, bitterness, depression, worthlessness, confusion, heart ache, neglect, emptiness...

Boys are retarded. I want him to care so bad, and he doesn't know how to show anything. He doesn't know how to stop, and say something kind, or just... comfort me when I'm sad, know how to relate, know how to sympathize.

I guess it's asking for too much, because it's not happening any time soon. I can't be touched or held or kissed without any sexual undertone. It makes me really upset. And I'm so affectionate! Little touches and kisses here and there, and maybe he doesn't notice, or just takes it in stride?

And he wonders why I get upset... Oy ve.