Updates include:

I got my hip pierced about an hour ago - left side, diagonally with the curve of my hip. Cute. I hope I can keep it. *Sigh.* These things are always risky.

Max is going through some stuff, but I support him, and that's why I'm still at home this weekend.

My mom moved back in.

Everything is crazy. AP sucks.

My friend Santi is awesome.

More details later. <3

I feel pretty random.

I think I'm going to go home and paint my nails a strange blue color (with glitter, of course) because I have nothing better to do.

Have you ever just kind of been sitting, doing nothing, and then realized that you're annoyed just by someone sitting next to you? It's a funny feeling, because even if they're not doing anything, the fact that they're breathing and existing there is... agitating. But funny because it's agitating. I can put my finger exactly on what it is about said person that's hilariously funny, and thus annoying.

Okay, we all know who I'm talking about anyway, which will serve to amuse some, namely just about everyone I've told who also shares my sentiment that 'said person' is crazy, misconstrued and strange in an off putting manner.

The fact that 'said person' doesn't have the brains or balls to speak (because 'said person' is a scared mouse of a boy who likes to read over my shoulder) is annoying. He'll sit and stare and not speak a word because he's not eloquent or brave enough to know what to say. I find it pathetic in the most sickening sense. I can't respect anyone who would rather torture themselves with silence than endure a few uncomfortable moments of awkward speech, but hell, don't we all have to do that at some point in our lives?

Spence feels less of a person to me now than ever. I think I want him to go away, like, forever, which is empowering, but I don't even feel like he deserves me wasting my breath if he can't even get himself up to utter a word to me. It's sad, but somehow hilarious. I don't know. *Giggles.*

I'm so bored. I'm just sitting in class, waiting for time to pass. I get to go to Max's house after school, which is nice because I miss him a lot. I want to go see my baby kitty who I love very much; she's soft, and probably misses me just like she always does. She does this really cute thing where she meows and paces by the door when she knows I'm coming home to Max's. I also miss Qdoba, this fast-food mexican place that's really, really good by the mall; I'm hungry. Damn.

We might go see Prime Evil, a movie that I think is about a dinosaur (giant crocodile that has a scientific name which I can't pull right off the top of my head), and not a man; it's been brought to my attention that there's a dino chasing them in the trailer, but it makes more sense than it being a dude. We're also going to the MLK seminar/festival, which should be really fun for us. Max once took me to a Spectrum outing, where I volunteered for Ghandi day and cleaned up a beach. I don't think we're going to do any community service, but I do think I'll enjoy being around the other club that Max is a part of.

It's just a good thing I have something really funny to laugh about. I might be even more bored if I didn't.

So, Spencer read my blog and wrote some pathetic attempt in response on his MySpace blog; it made me laugh so much with my sister, so I've been doing all I can to reiterate it to my friends (because he deleted it), especially the parts that don't make sense. Do I care about the repercussions? Not really. Why? Let's go down the list.

For one thing, I never gave Spencer my blog URL. I never said, "Hey Spencer, this is okay for you to read." What I'm assuming happened is I had it open in class one day and he decided it would be okay for him to go to my blog all by himself (Okay, didn't I just tell you he was creepy? Thanks for the affirmation, Spence. *Wink.*) - fine, good, nothing wrong with that (*Coughstalkercough.*), but if you're going to read someones journal without them giving you permission, then you'd better expect to find something unpleasant.

Secondly, none of the things I said in my last blog about Spencer (below), are particularly vicious, which is funny! He seemed to want to hurt my feelings by his, but it... flopped. I wasn't mean in my blog, I wasn't attacking Spencer, and I rarely mentioned him. The sad part was that if I'd not mentioned his name at all, all of our classmates would have known anyway. A friend commented to me how they sometimes see him staring after me, and I once mentioned his name to a different friend and they said, "I know he likes you." Sweetheart, I'm going to make the brash assumption that you're reading this. Knowing you, you've been waiting for this update.

I want him to please, please explain to me how I've been all of the things he says to me in my blog? He seems to think I've been being a bitch to him. He doesn't know what me being a bitch even means. I haven't been ignoring him! If I was ignoring him, I wouldn't be talking to you, I wouldn't be looking at you. And you know what? If I was any nicer, you'd take it the wrong way like you did in the first place, but I have certainly not been a bitch to you.

Also, please god tell me why I'm a slut! You've never even seen me around another boy doing anything wrong that wasn't with Max. Oh no! You heard me talking about having sex with someone once while I was broken up with my boyfriend! GASP! SHOCK! SURPRISE! You complain so much about being treated like a normal friend, when you can't even handle the things I talk about with them. How contradictory.

Okay, and dude. I know Max and I going to break up. I don't expect to marry him, as much as I love and adore him. I think he's a wonderful, sweet, loving, intelligent guy with a good carrer, a nice pad and he takes care of my baby kitty. Yes, I've said he's a jerk sometimes, but all girls say that about their boyfriends. Do you know where I was when you were at home, talking to Jana hoping I was really upset? Max had decided to come surprise me and got me out of school so he could take me to lunch on a Wednesday. It was wonderful.

I don't get the crazy part, either. He kept saying I was crazy, over and over and over. I've never done anything particularly crazy to this guy. I mean, I'm not denying that I'm

So there's this kid named Spencer who digs me or whatever.

Let's cut right to the chase. It's creepy. He says he doesn't like me, blah blah blah, it's bullshit. He sent me weird e-mails confessing his undying love, a feeling he's never had the chance to experience. That sounds bad or whatever, but I never even talked to the kid for a whole year (Freshman year), and apparently, the first time he saw me (as quoted from his e-mail) he couldn't get me out of his head.

He thought that during the month where Max and I were really split up, it would be a good time to tell me some things. He can't seem to understand that those e-mails did permanent damage on whatever friendship we had. It wasn't that great of a friendship to begin with! Yeah, I went to some of his band's shows and I think hung out with him once at his house to beat him at Soul Calibur III for an hour or so because I didn't want to go home just yet, not particularly because I wanted to be with Spence, but because I was bored. He did all this crazy stuff for my birthday and Christmas that I appreciated, but... How could he not see that it was strange? You don't spend loads of money (I won't say how much or what he got) on someone who's just your friend, unless they're like your only friend and you've known them your entire life. Even then, that's rare.

Like, sometimes I want to tell him exactly how I feel about a lot of things, but I can't because I think he might explode, but it's gotten to the point where I want out of this relationship, if it can even be called that. He messaged my friend Santi and asked why I was ignoring him yesterday, which I wasn't. I talked to him here in graphics while doing my work. After that, I didn't sit next to him in Physics because I don't want to be next to him anymore, and then I took AP English mostly to get away from him while telling him I probably wasn't going to. That's a bad lie, but I know he would have followed me.

*Sigh.* Well, I'll sort through this... Maybe.

I think I'm going to die.

I so totally thought I was ready for school. Turns out, I definitely wasn't. I feel sick and tired and... well, shitty. Shittier than usual. I'm glad that I'm taking a class in fourth hour with a few cool kids. For now, I'll just have to get through graphics (three whole hours of graphics...) without exploding so I can make lunch. That's another thing I need to do - eat.

We (mom, Nessa and me) were supposed to stop at CVS to get me some Claratin (I have a chronic sinus infection that is terrible and recurring - hence 'chronic') but she came out with sparkling grape juice (WTF?!), a bottle of water and a pack of gum. I was confused, to say the least. Perhaps we just had a misunderstanding, or she mentioned Claratin and I just assumed we were going to get some. Whatever, I'm not terribly worried, just confused and sick. Besides, Claratin only helps a tiny bit - not like whatever they gave me when they decided I had a sinus infection in the first place.

In any case, it's really freakin' annoying. Oooh, but I changed my hair color. *Glee!* Check it oooout.



I was waiting for the yellow and green, but the factory was out and I honestly wasn't up for waiting for another few weeks, so I just said, "Gimme one of these, and one of these." There's four colors in there. Raw Candy Pink, Special Effects Atomic Pink, Special Effects Joyride and Raw Deep Purple. It's cool.

The only thing I've had this morning is coffee... Tummy ache much? Well, off to graphics...

Mm. Everyone remember Pork Chop from Doug on Nick? I was remembered he existed after just munching on a pork chop and stuffing (which was delicious, by the way).

I got home from Max's a little while ago. We had a nice time together with Galen. I'm just happy that I get to see him again on Friday.

School starts tomorrow. I feel tired and sore - definitely not ready to go back yet. Oh well.

I'm really upset... I don't actually feel like posting, but I think this sums it up nicely.

Oh gosh, Max...

I just told Cami that I can't be her friend...

I realized that I was just getting hurt over and over again. She'd become less of a friend and more of someone to take up my idle time, and even though I really was trying so hard to get her to be nice to me... I just stopped. Today, I got into a fight with her because she wouldn't leave the room so I could talk to her without Richard hearing. She's always with Richard, and I was upset because she didn't have the respect or capacity to understand that I feel like he takes away all of her time and that he's the main reason she never sees me. I ended up hanging up on her. I tried to reason with her over text messages, but she was just self-righteous and justified.

Then she called me controlling and said I 'attacked' her.

Something inside me snapped. I told her it's a one-sided relationship and that I thought she had me on a short leash. I explained that on the phone earlier, I hadn't said anything bad about her and I didn't threaten her. I only said shit about Richard. Controlling was definitely the wrong word. I told her that she's manipulative and treats me like shit. I gave her endless chances to redeem herself, and she failed me time and again and I can't take it anymore. I told her that if she just blows it off like nothing, I really won't go back, because you know what? She never sees me anyway. It's like she's a fucking imaginary friend. She might as well not even exist...

So now I feel terrible. Not because I did it, but because it's just fucked up when something gets to that point. I'm sad that I wasted my time, and I'm sad that, when she meant so much to me, I meant the same to her as a discarded piece of garbage. It makes me feel low, you know?

She just sent me a text. Know what it said? "I wish I could talk to you right now but I'm at someones house." I'm not even going to respond. I don't care. Even if she tells me that tomorrow, she's going to fly down and we're going to hang out, I'm going to tell her no. I'm going to tell her that if she even really wants to be my friend, I'm not ready to be hers again. I'm not even ready to give her another chance, and I may never be... I miss the old Cami. I miss when she was like my sister, I miss when we were inseparable. I feel like I'm talking to a different person now. I don't even feel close to her anymore...

I miss you. I'm crying now. I feel bad inside... I need love. I wish Sunday was now.

Love,
Jom

Today has been sweet. The only things that could make it sweeter are a) Max showing up or b) my hair dye magically appearing. Neither is likely, one isn't even plausible.

I woke up today groggy and feeling poopie from last night's rum & coke dealy with my sister and a few friends, which was fun and all.

Anyway, mom appeared early to make pot roast and do her mom cookin' thing (which turned out delicious). For me specially, she brought two bags of keylime chocolates, one of my many weaknesses, and those were tasty too! Mom did some small shopping so we don't starve, as opposed to yesterday's ordeal where I ended up making a box of corn bread mix (without an egg) to eat. It was, well, depressing, but whatever.

I basically laid around all day, which isn't good for me, but I don't care. I'm tired again, and I wish my dad would stop popping his head in and saying random annoying things. Hopefully, the night goes well, too.

So Galen is here, yay for Max.

Mom bailed, again. She got sick, but I believe her - she sounded terrible on the phone, moreso than I think a normal, non-sick person could fake. Whatever, she said she'd be here tomorrow to make pot roast. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Nessa is supposed to be coming home today, so I won't be sitting alone in this room. I'll be sitting in a room almost alone instead! Unfortunately, almost only counts in horseshoes and grenades, as my friend Patrico is fond of saying, and I would suppose that he's right, except I've never played a game of horseshoes where almost counted.

So know what I'm doing? I'm so, so hungry, so terribly starving that I'm making a pan of corn muffin mix because there's nothing else remotely edible that sounds the least bit appetizing. Corn muffin mush it is! I didn't even have an egg; I just put a little extra milk in it to make up for the lack of moisture. I hope it doesn't taste terrible... I'm so hungry.

Today has been such a drag. Basically, Vanessa came home last night, left today and now I'm all alone, and have been sitting here by myself for a very long time. Thankfully, Max called... to ask me where his shoes were. It was the cutest thing ever, if it was a little sad. We didn't find them, but I'm sure he will.

I'm peeved at Galen because I could still be at the house with Max instead of being miserable here. Everyone thought he was getting in today at eleven in the AM, not the PM. Well, we were wrong, and so Galen won't be getting here until later, leaving me to be by myself and Max to do something amusing until later tonight.

I decided I'm going to invent cheery tarts. It came to me shortly after I misspelled 'cherry'. They'll be regular tarts, though I'm not sure what to fill them with. I was thinking strawberry - they taste pretty cheery, right? And they'll have to have rainbow sprinkles, because frankly, rainbow sprinkles are the cheeriest food decoration I could think of. Oh, and also raspberry (suggested by my good friend Woovis) because I enjoy raspberry tarts.

Yeah, so I'm crazy. I must be, because I really want some apple pies from McDonald's. That's disgusting, but guess what? I don't care.

Happy New Year, everyone! Whoo! Last night was a blast, at least for me.

We laid in the grass at the park, went down to a gay club and were crazy, then visited Tam who was sad and told me her life's story.

Right now, Max is next to me, asleep. He looks sweet. :)

I'm hungry! Not much else to say except for that this weekend has been wonderful.